Geds story

Take a look at Ged’s story below. For a long time this time of year caused him to become extremely depressed. After taking time to understand what it was that made him feel this way he was able to manage these feelings which ultimately helped him to enjoy Christmas.

Xmas for many people is a lovely time of year to celebrate with family and friends. We eat too much, maybe drink more than we should and love giving and receiving presents. I always have loved this time of year. Except for those times that I didn’t. From my teens onwards I discovered that Xmas wasn’t the best time to have family problems ; experience depression ; have no money or even feel that this life was not for me. It sounds depressing but it was very real at the time. I now know that though that I was not as alone as I had thought.

Xmas was one big party that I hadn’t been invited to. If I watched tv, everyone was having a great time sitting around large dining tables carving massive turkeys. Or they were out partying and looking oh so attractive. Nowhere on TV do I remember seeing constant arguments, domestic abuse or teenagers never wanting to leave their bedrooms because they couldn’t cope with the overkill. Or people with no job or no money or homeless. Or somebody experiencing their first Xmas as a bereaved partner.

Xmas can make all of these situations ten times worse. Personally I experienced some festive holidays ravaged by depression. To compensate I drank. Way too much. I grew to hate new years eve and would literally hide in my bed lest anyone might knock on the door to wish me a happy new year. I simply couldn’t cope. Luckily for me as the years passed my Xmas’s grew happier. Circumstances were not always wonderful but I learned to manage my social anxieties and remember what happy child hood xmas’s could be like. Now I thoroughly enjoy the holidays but I don’t go overboard. I can feel like a big kid and spend some time with my family and my two cats and not be stressed out anymore.

Everything I have described has a kernel of loneliness at its heart. And loneliness and xmas do not mix well. We need to remember that Xmas is not a good time for some people and if we think that someone is in difficulty during the holidays then might we be able to give them a few minutes of our time? Just being “heard” might make all the difference.

Nobody needs to feel isolated this year. We can combat loneliness by doing the simplest things – watching a good film, reading a good book, going for a walk or treating yourself in some way. There are plenty of organisations who are waiting for you to contact them to see how they can help. Lastly, trusted family members or friends will want to know that you are OK. And if you need to be by yourself as a way of coping then that is fine too. Just so you know that you’ve got positive options.

I am nothing special. If I can reclaim my mental health and learn to enjoy Xmas then so can you. And that’s a promise!

For more information on what you can do to look after yourself visit What can you do? | Calm your mind